08282025.

somehow i have created the kind of life where every 3-4 months a white person says or does something honestly kind of fucked up to me and when confronted about it (even extremely gently) they absolve themself by citing a misreading of social cues or just autism. do you have any idea how many white people cues i have learned and you can't learn the social cue of not being racist. cool

08272025.

having too much fun but not in a good way

08222025.

hi hi hi @alioop

HAPPY BDAY @AVIARY

OH YEAH OH YEAH OH YEAH

there are stakes today

dedicating my cheesy hallelujah performance to @aviary because she used to play it all the time (hope i didn't make that up)

no wait i remember. she is the person who explained how the first verse's lyrics are actually narrating chord progression

08122025.

@dori yea this is so much worse than like someone practicing their Chinese on me

good morning flounder

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired

things I only noted but should have reacted to

• "it's giving hot k pop idol"
• "you're such a good friend" constantly and about normal things
• "you feel like such a safe person" or anything along those lines
• "I used to have a crush on you"
• "oh so you hate me" jokes, "if you hate me just say that" in response to something normal like having to walk away from a conversation because I have to go do something
• "bestie coded" "we're so bestie coded"
• "I know when you don't text me back it's because you're dead" (here they were actually thanking me for how responsive i am/was)
• "you have resting 'you're dumb' face or like 'i don't wanna talk to you face'" (in hindsight this was obviously them telling me that THEY think that I think they are dumb which what am I supposed to do about that and also u can't tell Asian women this we are punished enough for being inscrutable to u)
• regular updates on people they decided to cut off for making them feel stupid

08112025. good morning flounder

@flounder book club I loved big swiss

08102025.

i felt happy or at least full of life.

-aviary

08072025.

monolingual white people can go and learn any new language they want and they choose therapy speak

08022025. good afternoon flounder

finished "groundskeeping," did not expect the emotional payoff, reading tearful in the coffee shop while that song played "wooooaaaahh back on 74" you know the one

last night was ok, sweet work friend + her partner joined me and we also got a fourth - other more elusive work friend who had said he wasn't coming and ended up being the first one there. I lost to the Sicilian defense. when I came back from the bathroom someone had hidden my king which was so funny for some reason

this guy is listening back to an instagram story of himself talking into selfie camera, maybe a hot take of some kind

Thomas Merton comes up in the last few pages of "groundskeeping," I guess he was a Kentucky guy like lee Cole so might do some more Kentucky reading

the big deep fish are purple in my sea -thomas merton

2 bluet portals opened last night - texts from K ("went to an open mic last night and couldn't stop thinking of you") and M ("they're playing snail mail at the thrift rn") don't move you guys i'm omw

08012025. good evening flounder

in one of those "no actually i think drinking will make me feel better" kind of moods (we have been here before)

separate thought

questioning recent reckless sharing haha I think I have been frustrated with the incoherence of my daily interactions

I kind of miss that one guy who was being really weird for two days and matched my exact pace crossing the street and yelled at me for splitting the pole. secretly I liked him